Shotgun Wedding – Theresa decides to join the FBI in Washington, D.C., after a close call on the job, but Johnny hopes a marriage proposal will keep her in Chicago.
There’s No I In Cream – The crew recall a chaotic day while teaching a class to aspiring EMTs; Johnny hunts for the person who ate the last donut.
tsy Bitsy Spider – The EMTs struggle to face their fears after Hank’s arachnophobia is revealed; Brian comes face-to-face with a suicidal look-alike.
Till Jeff Do Us Part – Hank gets an invitation to his ex’s wedding, which prompts Johnny to take up his cause. Meanwhile, Theresa clashes with a wedding guest and Brian learns a new job skill.
The Finger – Johnny learns a family secret while introducing Theresa to his father; Brian struggles to approach a work-crush.
Alcohol Related Injury – Johnny and Theresa agree to be friends with benefits; a drunken backyard game leads to injuries.
Famous Last Words – Brian and Hank relay the last words of a dying man; Johnny reaches out to his father after a seven-year estrangement.
Rachel McAdams Topless – Trying to be good guys, the guys return to a patient’s house to clear the history from his computer and end up seeing something that may scar them for life. The situation reminds Johnny that the iPad he loaned to Theresa has porn on it.
A Bitch Named Karma – A lightning strike at a church picnic gets the guys to start thinking about how there’s no justice in sickness and injury, because like it or not, the “rain falls equally on the just and the unjust.” After a discussion of karma, the guys volunteer to teach CPR to disadvantaged kids only to later be given killer Bears tickets for the same day they’re supposed to teach.
Pilot – While Brian’s has his first day on the rig, Johnny runs into Theresa for the first since they took “a break,” and Hank and the guys discuss their “In Case of Emergency” contacts.